My Painting Pants

My Painting Pants. That could be the ever-so-practical name for my pair of leg coverings absolutely festooned with paint splotches, which would of course play a role in the “exhibition of my life”. The museum spectacle, as portrayed in my head of course, would have the pants spread out on a wall with arrows and brief descriptors pointing to various paint stains.




As you may surmise, I am NOT a nitpicking, detail-oriented decorator (which is not always a great thing to be when you crane your neck upwards to examine wall corners and ceiling crevices, or atleast what you can observe of them through the filmy cobwebs). More paint probably ends up on me and my clothing than it does on the walls. [Some see the world through rose-coloured glasses whereas I tend to view it through paint-speckled ones.]

Maple Leaf blue is both our living room colour in the first home we owned together, as well as our current garage doors.

Chocolate: The colour of the kids' room, making it cave-like in its darkness (both good and bad aspects to this).

Pepto Bismol Pink: The shade of Rebekah's shelf, and also the colour I painted the bathroom a few months ago in attempt to produce some sort of shocked reaction from my husband. It proceeded to "haunt" me as it was a mess to clean up, though now I can claim to have had a pink washroom, my favourite colour!

Pale sky blue: Our first home's guest bedroom/computer room.

Of course I can't even recall the true names of the colours, so really why do I obsess?

Ironically Sleek Walls

After a child trade (I had two for the morning and now a friend has two for the afternoon) in order to aid us both in actually getting something checked off our massive ‘to do’ lists, I set to work at putting a second coat on the nearly completed bathroom (yes, yes, that one that has been under construction for 2 years now).

I veer towards the mistints (much cheaper, and yes, I have yet to be converted to environmentally friendly paint, shame on me). The first one, upon opening its lid was more mauve than the greyish tan splotch it advertised. We exchanged it. Second can: slick first coat was an exact match to new greyish grout. Perfect. So this afternoon I intended on coat 2 and possibly 3 paint completion…except that as I stirred and poured the paint, previously grouty grey, was now tawny with bits of PEI soil shade. Rolled a bit on the wall. PEI polka dots. Made me think of potatoes (that was an easy supper menu decision.) Hmmm.

Wonderful Paint Lady Tracey (wonderful for more than just her paint expertise of course)at Home Hardware had never heard of such a thing happening. "Changing colours overnight? REALLY?!?" And of course couldn't match exactly without us examining all of the paint chips lined up so sequentially (and so terrifyingly: what if it ISN'T the right shade? as though that truly matters in the grand scheme of life). And it was then that my eccentric little habit of choosing paint hues based on their name blaringly (almost) got in the way of perfect colour match. I was sure, above all else sure, that "Irony" would be the one (especially being as this would be the third can of paint involved)...who knew that "irony" was pale steel coloured? I would have thought more of a reddish cast....? But, alas, it was "sleek" that won the race. And "sleek" that dons the walls (or atleast the two I could do as the tormentingly now auburnish wall still dries before being ready for its new coat).

Does anyone else do that or am I the only one??? (I am sure SOMEONE out there has to have this habit too?) And who names the colour chips anyways? Do they meet regularly with Crayola Dudes to compare? What colour do you think Persian Essence would be? (Ha ha...go seek the answer!)

What was I going to write? Something about T.P.?

Every day as I "meander" (okay, "plough") thoughout the minutes and hours I constantly think "I could blog about this..." or "ooohhhhh oh yes, I could definitely write about THAT" which is only to be followed promptly by forgetting what exactly was so momentous that lightbulbs dimmed the rest of my cranial action.

Last night at ToastMasters during Table Topics (the time when you may choose to participate in making up a spur-of-the-minute 1 to 2 minute speech about whatever is written on the slip of paper given to you about a minute before you have to stand and blither) my topic was "something exciting to me". Well, previously (as in pre-kids, or maybe more realistically: pre-mortgage) excitement paraded itself in "big ticket" items. Vladmir's castle perched amongst the rolling hills of Romania after being royally ripped off by train "police" demanding a second payment, my first straight-from-the-factory VW, that sort of, well, superfluous "stuff"...Now? What is exciting now? Informing the mainly-female audience I shared that yesterday's hugely exciting moment, lame though it may be, involved previously leaving my bathroom after using the last shred of toilet paper on the roll and returning mid-day to discover a brand new role strapped into its silver holster....THAT WASN'T REPLACED BY MOI!

You have to admit that IS fairly exciting...

Things Kids Say

So here is a wonderfully humourous story for you (not so funny for me at the time) - we went swimming on Rebekah's 3rd birthday at the Hanover indoor pool. Afterwards I had to relieve myself and of course had to bring R in with me to the stall for who knows where she would end up otherwise (she really isn't as bad as we make her out to be!) ;) Anyways, there I am pulling down my pants when Rebekah yells and I mean YELLS (and the change room was FULL) "Mommy, you have such a BIG VAGINA!!!!"

I slunk out of there...feeling as though every gaze was upon me...

The follow-up: during advance polls a lady I know well came in to set up the advance voting station at the store where I work on Saturday mornings. She sauntered in and with a very mischievous twinkle in her eye faced me and shrieked, "SO I HEAR YOU HAVE A BIG VAGINA!!!"

It was then that she noticed four other people were in the store, staring at her, mouths agape, and then allowing eyes to wander from her blushing cheeks to me...of course the story (that had made its way to her) had to be told to all of them.

They Finally Asked!!!

Surprisingly it has taken 5 years but I finally had this question directly asked, "wow, you're a stay at home mom. Your husband must make loads of cash?"

I was somewhat shocked to be asked, taken aback, though you have to give credit to someone "ballsy" enough to(or as I like to say "with the ovaries to...") speak aloud what they are thinking.

No, no he does not. When we made the choice that I was going to be at home with our children (then, just one child), 2/3 of our income disappeared. This has been a true venture in trust and in the faith that God will provide.

I truly believe that almost anyone can be a stay at home mom - given that they are willing to make a lot of sacrificial choices. I am sure that my wardrobe is clear evidence of the fact that though I sell Epicure and walk a little guy to school (and get paid for that, amazingly), those incomes go straight to the family coffers and don't provide for any extras such as clothing purchases. Yes I would love to spend oodles at Value Village loading up on new to me outfits (because I can't fathom paying what it costs to buy new, let alone the environmental stress caused by it), but when weighing that against spending cranky days at a full-time career and letting my child be raised by someone else, my choice is clearly the ratty apparel.

We have been blessed by and through many people - which has enabled us to be in a little less debt. Expired food from mom's general store, hand-me-down clothing for us and the kids, holidays at my parent's timeshare, a hair stylist sister-in-law way too generous with her minimal cost haircuts, a great aunt generous in too many ways to mention, endless and countless other blessings.

So that is my quick, simple answer (because you know I could go on and on!)as to how many loads of cash we bring in....